PUPPET TALKS 

Scene 1

PIERRE:
Hunter?! Hunter?!!! What are you doing now man?
REMKO:
I heard breathing exercises, huh, huh, huh 
PIERRE:
Hunter! Act normal dude. Hey, what did you think of those songs?
REMKO:
Nice
PIERRE:
Well, I think there could be a little more happening, hunter, a little action in the tent, hahaha
REMKO:
Well, I’m more into the low action, George Wiegel always said to me – Remko, you put the notes together like a big lump of shit under your feet.
PIERRE:
Hey hunter, he always said to me – hey Pierre, there is still some dirt there in the corner. Go play there for a while, with your vacuum cleaner sound

Scene 2
SEBASTIAN:
Like this! Who’s hanging there?!!!
JEFFREY:
George Wiegel, they also call him the trombone god. He taught all those others, but not us.
SEBASTIAN:
Trombone god, hahaha. Go ahead. But why did they make such a hideous statue of that dude?
JEFFREY:
George is retiring, and that’s how they want to honor him, yes, yes, yes
SEBASTIAN:
Oh, and you do that with an old concrete garden statue? Maybe a dog has been whining at it.
JEFFREY:
Respect Bassie. Respect. We never had lessons from him, but he is of great value to those others.
SEBASTIAN:
Do you know what is valuable? The complex relationship between religion and queerness. I made a whole program about that, Club Church, that’s what it’s called. All boundaries of genre and style are ignored. That whining image would actually fit in well with that.
JEFFREY:
We are not here to promote your program Sebastiaan, we are going to announce a fantastic solo trombonist. She comes from the Metropolitan Opera in New York. She teaches at Rutgers University and Bard College in NY and also gives a master class here. With us she will play her own arrangement of the first movement of Launy Grondahl’s famous trombone concerto. Give her a deafening applause – Sasha Romero!

Scene 3
MARK:
In by the cup, out by the cup, in by the cup, out by the cup.
KOEN:
What are you doing?
MARK:
I teach all children to play the trombone on a pBone. I am also mr pBbone myself. pBbone pBone. Back in the day at George we learned 7 positions. But today’s children only get 4. In for the cup, out for the cup.
KOEN:
That’s three Mark. In, at the cup and out.
MARK:
At the cup. There are four!
KOEN:
You’ve already reached the cup Mark. In at the cup, out at the cup. That’s twice the cup.
MARK:
Hey, in in in in at the be, yes now yes now I don’t know anymore. Who should I ask? George! George the Trombone God!
MARK:
Are you there God, it’s mister pBone, its mister pBone
KOEN:
Hey Mark, leave it alone for a while. We have another Georgie. He comes from Hungary, studied with Branimir Skokar and was asked by him in 2004 to join the famous Slokar Trombone Quartet, of which he has been a part ever since. He is a professor at the University of Sjezzed in Hungary and founded the Szeged Trombone Ensemble there. Sure. With us he plays the second part of Trombone Scenes by his fellow countryman and tuba player Roland Szentpali. None other than – György Givichan

Scene 4
JÖRGEN:
Elisabeth Hetherington, you sing so beautifully. Almost more heavenly than the sound of the torrombone. Oh, what am I saying now? George…what? What do you say? No, no, people must like the torrombone the best! That’s our job. Alex, the world must be touched by the pure ecstasy of the torrombone. Right George? Am I saying it right?
ALEX:
Hey, crazy. If I just announce the next artist, then we can just have a nice beer later. That seemed like a much better plan to me. Add some music.
At the age of 12, he already received international attention as the youngest ever winner of the BBC young musician of the year. They had never heard that before. He has now been solo trombonist of the London Symphony Orchestra for 10 years and plays as a soloist all over the world. Well, then you’re not doing it wrong. He also teaches at the Royal Academy in London. Yes, because there must also be bread on the table. He’s going to steal a piece of Tommy Peterson. Give him a big hand – Peter Moore! Look, this is how you do it, crazy.

Scene 5
BRANDT
Hey Pierre, you do a lot of BBQ, don’t you?
PIERRE:
Yes why?
BRANDT:
Just fun. I would like to do that too, in my spare time. But I have no free time. I do not have that. I don’t have any free time Pierre. I CANNOT sit back and relax and have a BBQ on my lazy ass like you do in my spare time. Because I don’t HAVE that free time.
PIERRE:
What are you so busy with?
BRANDT:
To play
PIERRE:
And who do you play with?
BRANDT:
Just. Very famous trombonists
PIERRE:
Do you mean me?
BRANDT:
Ehheh, ehehh. No Pierre, I don’t mean you. I mention a Joe Alessi, a Marshall Gilkes and not just any BBQ trombonist from Landsmeer. I even play with Japan’s most prominent trombonist and I have founded a club with those three top players. The Slide Monsters.
PIERRE:
Well, nice group together. Count Dracula and the Slide Monsters, hahaha
BRANDT:
Oh, why don’t you go to the schaslick soon? Dear people, he is here, my playmate, my comrade, my BFF, has played with the greatest on earth like the Brecker brothers, Makoto Ozone, Nicholas Payton and the undersigned of course. He made countless CDs and is the most sought after studio artist. Give him a deafening applause Eijiro Nakagawa!!!

REMKO
The New Trombone Collective played for you with Remko de Jager, Jeffrey Kant, Sebastiaan Kemner, Mark Boonstra aka Mr Pbone, Koen Kaptein, Alexander Verbeek, Jorgen van Rijen, Brandt Attema and your own BBQ king Pierre Volders! All this under the watchful eye of Trombone God George Wiegel!